Building a Legacy

Our baby girl celebrated her 5th birthday this week. That means we have an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Every birthday brings a time of sappy reflection. I remember the day that Logan was born almost 8 1/2 years ago. When they handed him to me I kept looking at his feet and his cute little toes. I continuously ran my fingers over his feet as my mind raced. We were in charge of him. They were going to send him home with us in a couple of days and I can't even keep a plant alive. I remember feeling overwhelmed by the amount of love I could feel for someone and the intense responsibility to not mess him up. I would imagine that most parents feel those same emotions. When you look at your baby you imagine all of the things that they may become. A great athlete, a brilliant doctor or a wealthy head of a corporation. But somewhere in the past few years, our dreams for our children have changed.
It's not that I don't want my children to be successful, I just view success differently. I've realized that it doesn't matter if you are a straight A student if you aren't a person of integrity. It doesn't matter if you are a star athlete if you are unwilling to help someone who has stumbled. It doesn't matter if you are a wealthy CEO if you are so wrapped up in your investment portfolio that you don't even notice the homeless man on the corner.
Then came the realization that if this was important to us, just saying it wasn't enough. We were telling them that they should be generous to others, but we were only doing it when it was comfortable and convenient for us. We were talking about compassion, but would drive through the inner city without giving a thought to who lived in those houses. We told them not to be judgemental, but would assume that the man on the street corner was there because he had made a series of choices that placed him there. We would talk about grace and forgiveness, but rarely offered it. We would say that we were Christians, but our life reflected little more than a Sunday service, a $20 in the offering and a random volunteer activity.
In the past year, we have made a conscious effort to change that. We have a long way to go, but a consistent prayer in this house is to let us see those who need help and have the courage to act. Some words from one of my favorite songs often rings through my head .... in my own little world it hardly ever rains, never felt hungry, always felt safe. I've got money in my pocket and shoes on my feet, in my own little world population me.
If we want our children to have compassion for others, they should see us roll down the window to give the man on the street corner cold bottle of water and enough money for a meal. If we want to teach our children about sacrificing, they should see us sell possessions to help raise money for someone else. If we want our children to step out of their comfort zone to fight for the least of these, then they should see us step on a plane to go to a children's hospital on the other side of the world. If we want our children to forgive others, then we must ask them for forgiveness for all of the times we have messed up. If we want them to offer grace to others, we need to offer grace to them. If we want them to be Christians, they need to see that following Jesus means more than showing up to church on Sunday.
Becoming a parent has been one of the most humbling things that has ever happened to me. I can be so selfish, so judgemental, so flawed that it is appalling. Yet I have been given the gift of grace that allows me to stand up and try again. Sometimes late at night I will sneak into my children's rooms and sit by them as they sleep. As I watch their chest rise and fall I am often overcome with how blessed I am to be their mom. They have helped me to give more, fight harder and pray more fervently Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Banging my head

I am a head banger. Not in the cool rocker kind of way, but in the "I am a type A personality that can't handle this" kind of way. It is not uncommon for Jeff to come downstairs to find me with my forehead banging against my desk or see me parked in the car with my head against the steering wheel. I bang my head for all sorts of reasons. When my favorite Ethiopian coffee runs out (I have a serious passion for good coffee), when Matti seems determined to push every boundary that we have, or this little family of fours amazing ability to trash every inch of the house. (Seriously- who smears toothpaste on the wall?)I bang my head out of the stress of knowing that we have a payment due tomorrow for Africa that is equal to two of my paychecks, and not knowing where that money is going to come from. I bang my head when I'm frustrated by people that live by some unknown code of rules and ethics. Who abuse their children or do really careless things to endanger others. I bang my head for the parents that fall through the cracks of our system and can't seem to get a break from the relentless pressures of life. I bang my head for the people that abuse the system and don't care.
Today, I'm banging my head for a little boy on the other side of the world. A little boy who only has two pieces of paper describing his surgeries. A little boy who lives in a country where there are only 60 doctors and even the best hospitals don't have oxygen. A little boy with a swollen face and veins protruding as his heart works furiously to keep him alive. I can't sleep without thinking about him. I don't know that more detailed medical records exist and if they do, I don't know how to get to them. I don't know how to help him.
The good thing about head banging is that it places you in a position to cry out to the One who has given us hope. The battle has already been fought, the price has been paid and victory is promised to all those who want it. We are never promised to have a life without heartache or a world without injustice. But we are told to fight for those who can't and that the battle that we see in this world is not the end of the story.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Oh Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.

Waiting for great inspiration....

More than a few people have said that we should start a blog. Some wanted to follow our trip to Sierra Leone, to hear funny Matti quotes or to just my sarcastic take on life. So if your curious about the Rodgers family craziness- here you go.

It's no secret that Jeff and I will be traveling to Africa in September. If you are not familiar with the work of The Raining Season, I encourage you to check out their blog. You will see pictures of where we will be visiting and the kiddos that we have come to love. I'm not sure that I could tell you exactly how we got to this point, but there is a verse in Proverbs that sums it up.

"...once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."

There is a little three year old boy fast asleep in Sierra Leone tonight. Just like my children he cries when he falls down. He gazes at the same moon and smiles as he rests in his mommy's arms just like my children. The difference is that he was born with a serious heart condition and lives in a country where the hospital doesn't even have a consistent source of electricity or clean water.

I have an amazing job where I often sit next to tearful mothers as they weep over the diagnosis that has been labeled on to their child. I am able to confidently look them in the eyes and talk about the hope that early intervention can bring. We live miles from an amazing children's hospital that regardless of socio-economic status, their child will receive the most up-to-date treatment. I can talk about therapists who will come to their home to help their child meet their full potential. What would I say if I were sitting next to this little guys mom? In a country with the highest child mortality rates in the world, what do you say?

It the past year we have decided that is not ok for children to die of ridiculous things like an infected cut on their foot or dirty drinking water. It is not ok that when a baby cries at night, there is no one to comfort them. It's not ok that where you are born dictates whether you live or die. It would be so much easier to turn our heads, to look away and pretend that we didn't know. We know that we can't save the world. We know that true hope is not found in this life or with hospitals, therapies and medicine. But we are called to fight for those who can't fight for themselves. Who are you fighting for today?

Proverbs 31:8 Let your mouth be open for those who have no voice, in the cause of those who are ready for death.